Much Muttering in the Blog

Having a few days of 'don't know what to do with myself'- there's lots to do but I just can't settle to anything or get motivated to do anything purposeful! *sigh* Hence I'm blogging...ahem!
On a more positive note, the Valhalla Smith music video has been published (is that the right term for a music video?), and Miramar have made it into the final edit! Yay! Admittedly we are only in it for a few secs, but hey, it's all good stuff, and we had a fab day out to boot! You can find the vid on my FB page, if you're interested.
Have now got just 8 classes, a workshop, 4 performances and a hafla to go before the official end of term...and I'm really ready for it! At this time of year I often get what I call the 'End of Term Blues' as I'm coming to the end of 3 terms of teaching and a whole year of performances, haflas, and organising shows and souks, so suffice it to say I'm feeling pretty tired and jaded. Although I'd dearly like to spend the whole summer holdays having a rest, my financial situation has gone from bad to dire, so I've got to try and find some part-time work to get back on top of things. Ideally I'd like something I could be interested in, 2 or 3 mornings a week, well paid, and not too far to travel. It's not too much to ask, is it? If all else fails, then it's shelf filling at Morrisons!
But however bad things might get, my life is never dull, there is always something interesting, weird or funny  happenning, and I never get bored. Listless, confused, fuzzy, cross, sad, happy, content, but never bored! A typical day in the life of Val consists of much Facebooking and playing of games, much computer admin and a few phone calls, a bit of (but only absolutely necessary) housework, a little lite shopping, preparing and teaching a dance class, something creative like making a poster, emailing out info and making contact with organisers and friends, occaisonally some dance practise, jewellery or fascinator making, and of course some eating, drinking, watching telly and sleeping! Fascinating, eh? LOL!
Oh dear.....the fact that I've resorted to making lists to entertain myself and everyone else suggest that it's time to end this blog!! Ta taaa for now!

Fuzzy Logic

Am having a very woolly few days, it seems! Tried to practise dances last night for todays retirement home performance and just couldn't seem to get it right! Slightly better this morning when I had another go, but am still feeling rather fuzzy and a bit down. So, you have been warned- don't ask me anything, tell me anything or even ask me my own name...cos I know nothing!!
On a more positive note, yesterday was the Summer Solstice, and this was the day two years ago that Sid and I got handfasted. The tradition with handfasting is that you return to the scene of the crime a year later to renew or break your vows. That first year was seen as a honeymoon period when you decided whether or not you should stay together...you'll be relieved to know that we decided we may as well carry on!So we thought we'd go up there again just to reconnect with our vows and commitment to each other, and 'feel the vibe' so to speak..plus which Sid fancied going for a drink....I wasn't going to say no! So we got to the Rollrights just as the sun was setting, and had a glorious view back over the valley below. Magical. And The Norman Knight was quite magical too! Great atmosphere and good booze...they brew their own and Sid was very impressed with it!
So onto the performance this afternoon....could be a trip into the unknown given my state of mind...but I'll do my best!  A bit of adrenaline should gee me up!

Leamington Peace Festival, and other stuff.

Despite the fact that it's supposed to be summer, we seem to be having the most schizophrenic June ever! More like April with lovely sun one minute and torrential rain the next!
Saturday I was due to teach a taster workshop at the Peace Festival, and everything went well- except the weather! Fortunately we were in a very nice marquee so it didn't really disturb us, but the sound of the rain was so loud we almost couldn't hear the music! The workshop went well, but my CD player kept jumping on the tracks and cutting out, which was a pain, but otherwise people seemed to enjoy it...hopefully I might get a student or two out of that.  Then it was onto the Shuvani performance at 1.15. We performed outside on wet grass (but managed to dodge the showers!) and had to contend with lots of distractions, including the main music stage belting out and capoeira to loud music going on in the tent behind us, so although the girls struggled manfully with it all, we made a few mistakes. However, the girls looked fab, the audience seemed to really enjoy it and the audience participation bit went down a storm! The girls then dashed off for some serious shopping at the masses of stalls selling wonderful enthic clothing....well, it's only once a year!
The Peace Festival (for those of you who don't know!) was started in the 1970's by a bunch of local hippies, and has gone from strength to strength ever since. It's open free to everyone, and as it's in the town centre park, can't grow huge and unwieldy, one of the secrets of it's continued success, I think. It attracts huge crowds of people from every walk of life, and as well as the inevitable traders, there is live music, kids activities, adult workshops, therapies, eco and climate change organisations and stalls, local groups and initiatives as well as representatives from many faiths. It's hippy heaven!
The Peace Festival  has definitely been a date on the calender for local belly dance groups for several years, and there is always a bit of a race to get your application in first as they will only allow a limited number of groups to perform. Only briefly caught sight of Sarah Brook Taylor's troupe in passing, but I gather there were more on later and on Sunday too. Surprisingly, it was our first time! I've held back putting us forward in the past as I thought it was only for local groups, but after seeing groups from places like Coventry & Southam perform, I decided it was obviously OK for anyone to take part!

And the next performance for Miramar is a return visit to a BUPA care home in Stratford tomorrow, as part of their healthy-dancing-initiative-week thingy, and then after that both Miramar and Shuvani are performing at Stratford River Festival on the 2nd and 3rd July. Couple more performances for both troupes after that and then it's officially the holidays...and boy am I ready for that!

Life is What You Make It.

Must be a slow week this week as I've managed to write a blog almost every day!
Yesterday's was quite serious and hopefully thought provoking (even if you disagree with me!), but todays blog is definitely going to be on the lite side!
Got a busy day today as I've got to do some postering for my summer beginners course, as well as a few errands in Stratford before going off to do the radio show this afternon. Then I have to fit in some practise for the Shuvani performance at the Peace Festival tomorrow as well as checking my costume over and preparing for the workshop I'm teaching too. Even though I try and pace myself somehow everything manages to concertina up and then I end up running around frantically, trying to NOT get stressed about the fact that I am having to rush!
Yesterday was not the best day, partly as I had to update my bank account, and at the moment that can be a painful process, and true to form, it whacked me over the head! So. no drinkies or treats for a while then...grrrr. It's at times like these when I wonder if my Mum wasn't right when she tried to persuade me to to go into banking! However, then, as now, I would have rather died than go into such a boring and dull job. I've realised over the years that creativity is almost as important to me as breathing, and in rare periods in my life where I haven't been able to do anything creative I've become very depressed and unhappy. Life wouldn't be worth living if I couldn't sew, or make jewellery, costumes - or anything artistic, actually. I've dabbled in lots of things over the years, and may yet go back to them....painting and drawing, crochet, clay jewellery, tap dancing, clowning, acting, scene and prop making, drumming, jazz dance, photography and lots more!
Sid and I watched a programe about the hanging of the Royal Academy of Arts exhibition last night, and were both amazed and amused by some of the work that the judges thought had merit, and we both jokingly suggested that WE could produce work as good!! My finances are sooo bad at the moment that I would consider anything that could earn us some money...even producing art works! I know that might sound a bit nuts, but my art teacher did think I was on track to become the next David Hockney (oh, yes, apparently!)...I'm beginning to wonder where it all went wrong?! But seriously, I am in the kind of mood where anything is possible....hehehe!! Watch this space.....LOL!

Choosing to Die......a few thoughts on the subject

Am beginning to feel gulty as I seem to be spending so much time writing blogs instead of working!!
But in my defence there does seem to be a lot to cogitate on and think about at the moment. Everywhere I turn there are happennings, news, ideas and events that give me pause for thought and sometimes re-evaluate where what who and how!
Last night Sid and I watched the Terry Pratchett documentary about assisted suicide, and the subsequent debate afterwards, and it certainly brought up a lots of discussion between us, both last night and again this morning.  I can understand how some people would want to kill themselves, especially if they are terminally ill or likely to become very disabled by their illness, but I can also see how the whole system could oh so easily be open to misuse. The ethical or moral stance of the clinic in Switzerland seemed to come from the best intentions, but every scenario or situation will be dictated by those taking part and that cocktail, fuelled by many conflicting emotions could decend into a very undignified or traumatic event, unless very carefully planned, and as long as everyone plays their part as agreed. The gentleman who we had the priviledge to watch dying was incredibly dignified and calm about it, and I didn't feel that he was pushed or co-erced into it, but I did feel very sad that he couldn't have died in much nicer and better circumstances. I would personally much prefer to make it special and as beautiful and meaningful as possible, and he would have had that choice if he could have done it at home. So, although I do support a person's right to die, and would like to see the law in this country changed, I would be very cautious about the letter of that law. It would need to be very transparent and every possible avenue explored so that everyone was protected from subsequent problems,...and the potential for abuse of the system was ruled out.
It also brought up some spiritual issues and questions for me, too. I believe that our soul has a purpose for us-  a kind of rough sketch of our lives, a map of our potential and fullfillment of that life purpose. So how does that fit in with the decision to take your own life prematurely? An interesting example is Dr Hayashi, one of the earliest Reiki masters. He was Japanese and lived up until the start of the second World War. When he found that he was due to be conscripted into the forces to fight in the war, he decided that as he didn't want to be responsible for killing any one, he would die himself. A terrible moral issue, but as he saw it the only soultion. He was apparently a very advanced spiritual being and was conciously in touch with his soul, so he decided on the time and place of his death. He gathered his family and friends around him, sat down, and simply died at the allotted time.  So, if his soul had a purpose mapped out for him, how did that fit with his decision to die (probably) earlier than planned? I suppose the same question would apply if someone died in a car crash or drank themselves to death. Does the soul have to follow the bidding of the ego or personality? So if you decide to take your own life does the soul throw up it's hands saying 'OK it's your life...but we'll just have the change things around a bit to accomodate this new path!' This also brings me back to the guy who died at his own hand in the documentary...could staying alive and  suffering from the gradual degeneration of his health and body have also had value for him and his family? I have heard of people who were control freaks, and then suffered from something very debilitating like a stroke, having to let go of everything , and allow others to help them. That in turn could be a huge learning curve for everyone concerned. My sister said that she thought our Mum, who died of demetia and old age (and wasn't distressed or in pain) was very kind to us in a way, as she died very gradually and slowly over a number of years, allowing us the come to terms with her death. So much so that I felt completely at peace with her passing.  My father died quite suddenly from a stroke, which was a huge shock and very painful, and very distressing for my Mum at the time.
I guess everyone will have an opinion on this, but I think the bottom line is that everyone should have control over their own lives and destiny....that's all any of us want anyway.

Loopy Philosphy

Today I am feeling a little schizophrenic...one minute I'm wanting to just lie down, and the next I'm feeling bouncy and purposeful! The only explanation I can think of is the BIG lunar eclipse tonight. I know some of you might find that a bit far fetched, but I'm one of these sensitive souls who gets a headache when it's overcast and stormy, and a wee bit loopy at the full moon......!! 'Nuff said!
Have been recently contemplating and discussing all this 2012 stuff with various people, and although I don't have many answers, I have a few theories!! I think I might also be picking up on the general unrest that seems be sweeping around the world at the moment, and feeling rather discombobulated generally! I think the changes we are feeling now have been coming on for a very long time, years, or even decades, and I'm convinced that I choose to be born here and now for a reason...though I'm not sure exactly what that is yet....will let you know if I find out! However, we all have to make good with where we are right now, and do the best we can with what we've got. I'm still uncertain where my work and life is leading me at the moment, but I'm trying to trust that it will become clearer as time goes on. Am going to try pushing open a few doors and see what's on the other side, but I suspect there might be a few deadends behind them.
But on another theme, I'm beginning to think the way forward for us humans is COLLABORATION! I think that the old adversarial way of being, in business and relationships, has not served us well...if you think about it it has brought us into the parlous state we are in now after all. In order to survive in the future, we need to re-learn how to co-operate and work together for a common goal. If things get more difficult, with regard to having enough energy, food, then we have the choice of either fighting each other for the increasingly scarce resources- or trying to work together to find new ways of being and sharing what we all have. Maybe I'm being idealistic, and I'm aware that there are some people out there who would prefer to go down kicking and fighting for themselves and don't care who or what goes with them, but I'm praying that something significant will happen to make everyone change their point of view and embrace the change. Perhaps it's already happenning.............

Dancing in the Daylight!

Had a very pleasant weekend which included: a trip to the pub,  a visit to The Cake Maker (my sister), lunch with pals, and taking my stall to a hafla (where I sold a few things!).
The hafla was organised by Anne Blagden who teaches in Cheltenham, and unusually it was on a Sunday and during the day! The original idea was that it was going to culminate in a outdoor picnic, but it poured with rain the whole day! However, as we were in doors, it was a lovely informal event and everyone was in a relaxed, happy mood. Vic and I decided the fact that everyone was so relaxed was mostly due to the fact that most people don't do much on a Sunday afternoon, and they weren't in a hurry to get home or go anywhere, and as we ate food at about 3pm after the performances, all the dancers then were able to happily mill around the stalls and shop. As I was performing and nervous as usual, I got ready a bit too early so didn't see many performances, but Anne herself did a lovely veil dance, and Em Chuter did a very original (and topical) Pirate themed dance - complete with the Jolly Roger as a veil! But the whole event inspired Fiona (from Ashara Bazaar) to suggest to Anne and I that we should hold a tea party in her garden while people shopped at our stalls. If there's cake, I'll be there! And hopefully so should lots of other people!
And talking of daytime events, Shuvani will be performing at Leamington Peace Festival this weekend- a first for Bastet Belly Dance! Leamington Peace Festival was started in the 1970's and has been going ever since! It's like a mini music festival but is for two days only in the middle of the town, and has lots of stalls, traders, workshops and other events as well as live music all day. It's a fab day out for all the old hippies, kids, families , eco activists and music lovers.I'll be doing a short Belly Dance taster workshop and then Shuvani will be performing their latest set of dances in our new, very bright, sweetie-coloured outfits, at 1.15 on Saturday. Just praying for sunshine after the last bloddy washout on Bank Holiday Monday!

The Healing Power of Dance...

OK, I think I mught be re-addicted to blogging again! You have been warned!

Yesterday I mentioned that I had been watching some very inspiring and interesting video clips on Facebook about dance for people suffering from Parkison's Disease. I decided to mention it on the radio show, so did some further research and started to get very interested in my discoveries. Basically the American dance troupe Mark Morris  are doing some wonderful work with PD sufferers. They are doing contemporary dance classes which are having a very marked and positive effect on these people. Apparently PD sufferer's  brains produce little or no Dopamine (one of the feel good chemicals the brain produces naturally), and dance has been scientifically proven to produce Dopamine. So the participants are finding that during the class their symptoms are reduced or vanish completely, and they also can get several hours of relief from them afterwards. Apart from this obviously beneficial effect, they also said that the reduction of symptoms made them feel 'normal' again for a while, and they also felt part of a community, amongst friends who understood their problems. And of course there was the added benefit of having an incentive to get out and socialise...and it was fun! Parkinson's sufferers have problems with walking, standing, turning, as well as stiffening up and the most common problem of trembling or shaking hands and body. Dance improves your posture and co-ordination, and  forces you to think about where and when you place your feet and arms. Other clips re-inforced this idea as they showed PD patients learning Tango, and also Tai Chi, also to positive effect. My research also said that movement and dance can be very beneficial for people who have had brain injury, trauma and  strokes, and also for those with dementia.  A lot of what I read was just re-affirming stuff I already knew and it was very inspiring to see it in action.
I also think that music has a huge part to play in the beneficial effects these people are experiencing. Music can provide a rhythm to work with, and if you choose your music very carefully, it can evoke positive feelings, memories, and enhance what you do. I have heard that people suffering from strokes or dementia can often remember the words and tunes to songs, even if they have lost most of their other memories. It seems that music and rhythm by-pass other parts of the brain, and I wonder if it activates or is recognised by a very primitve part of the brain that is older than that which we use for speech. We can walk and move almost before we speak as babies, after all.
I've been thinking for some time that I would like to explore the healing and therapeutic properties of Belly Dance, and also other types of physical movement and dance, and this all feels like an inspiring starting point to move from.....Not sure where it will take me, but watch this space!

Damp Shuvani dance in the Rain!

What was I saying about buses yesterday....! So, here I am again...wondering how this happenned...obviously haven't got enough to do...ho ho!
Anyway, two things have occurred since yesterday....Well, actually quite  a few things have if you really want to be pedantic about it, but for the sake of everyone's sanity I will stick to just a couple of notable things! Firstly I realised that after boldy calling this blog 'Dairy of a Belly Dancer' I haven't talked much about Belly Dance in detail for a while, so that's overdue. And secondly, I have been watching some very inspiring stuff on YouTube and Facebook about the benefits of dance on Parkinson's Disease and Dementia. If you want to go to my Facbook site I've posted 3 clips there. But more of that in another blog as a detailed blow by blow account of Shuvani at the Wool Fair follows......
Thought I may as well report of Shuvani's latest performance at Shipston Wool Fair on the last Bank Holiday. For those of you who don't know Shuvani are my newest dance troupe, made up of some of my most experienced students, who have a special affinity to Gypsy Belly Dance. The group includes a couple of Miramar as well, so it can get a bit mad and schizophrenic for them, but otherwise we are all enjoying exploring this new-ish branch of Belly Dance. Of course Gypsy dance has been around for centuries as well, and this means we can draw on other forms of gypsy dance and weave them in with belly dance to create a smorgasboard of moves and costumes! I must admit to having a big love affair with Balkan music, so quite a few of our dances are to that type of music, but we are currently experimenting with including a few Indian/Bhangra moves, and using different styles of costumes. Our first costume was very loosely based on tudor style as our first gig was at Mary Arden's House in Stratford, and we have also made bra tops and wrap over tops for a more generic, modern  'gypsy' style. But our latest costumes are a work of art! I suggested an Indian inspired costume consisting of full gypsy tiered skirt decorated with bands of braid, a velvet choli top deocrated with braid and motifs, and a specially designed flat belt fringed with wool tassels and decorated with braid and motifs.This new costume has been a bit of a journey as we had to co-ordinate colours then some couldn't get the ones they wanted initially, then the braid ordered over the internet arrived late. etc, etc!, We also got together and had a fun filled afternoon making our own wool tassels, which we attached to the belts and decorated. I reckon there was a lot of late nights getting it all together! AND...we found two weeks before the event, that our fringed shawls practially knitted themselves onto the braid decorating the skirt, so I had to hurriedly run up some big triangles of fabric to use instead! The day of the Wool Fair dawned....and it was pouring with rain!! Almost everything was out of doors, or under canvas....and I didn't know what to do, and I wasn't sure of the costumes could stand the dousing. But I had a feeling that the girls would throw a wobbly after all the hard work they had put in so I ignored the rain and  turned up as arranged. Despite the weather they were all in high spirits, and equally determind that they were going to 'bloody well perform' no matter what! What troupers! I must confess to being a bit of a diva, and grumbled a bit about getting wet, but as it turned out, just as we started our set the rain stopped and we had one of the driest spells of the day! It was hard work dancing on wet tarmac in the cold and drizzle and as most dancers know performing outside isn't always easy, but the girls were great and did me proud!  And despite the gloomy weather the costumes looked so bright you almost needed sunglasses to look at them! One young 20-something lass said it looked liked great fun and she wanted to have a go, and a couple of old ladies were overheard wondering why we didn't like each other ( it's called acting, dahlings!). Lots of compliments and positive comments all helped too, and the costumes all survived intact- result! An interesting experience we're not likely to forget........

Letting go.....

Well after my previous lack of enthusiasm, I'm now trying to make up for it with another blog, immediately after the last one. It's probably going to be like waiting for a bus.....!
As I mentioned last time, these are turbulent times, both personally and world wide, in fact. I know my difficulties are as nothing compared to some people, but I chose to be right here, right now, so I gotta deal with it! Although my financial situtation is pretty dire my friend Arielle pointed out the other day that I am rich in other ways, and promptly handed me a pack of divination cards and asked me to pick one. Well, well, guess what, I came up with Gratitude! And of course all it had to say was basically that if I was grateful for and valued the things I DO have then I would feel abundant , and the rest would follow. So I have been trying to spend a little time each night counting my blessings ( that's if I don't fall asleep first!), as I know this helps make me feel better. I've also decided that I'm handing my financial situation over to the Universe/God/Goddess. This doesn't mean I'm covering my ears and closing my eyes and humming, but that I'm giving up on worrying about it. Of course I'll still need to do my sums and  manage things, but I'm taking the attitude that the Universe will either provide me with the cash, or the means to pay my bills. If you allow yourself to be very flexible and adaptable, then it gives the powers that be the maximum opportunity to send you surprises, gifts, unusal arrangements, creative solutions and more besides. It's a case of letting go, instead of my usual terrier-like worriting that I'm prone to fall back into! A clairvoyant once told me that there would always be a loaf on the table....and I've always believed that. If I'm trying to do the work of the spirit and live a good life, then I'll get all the help I need. The only problem is getting out of my own way......

Resuming transmission.......

Ooops! Can't believe how long it's been since my last post! I guess it's been a combination of me being very busy with the souk and costume making as well as juggling the complicated dates around Easter and the Royal Wedding, and I've also been feeling a bit fed up and depressed so didn't feel much like writing anyway.
Am glad to say that the grey cloud has lifted a little, and most of the credit has to go to Julie my lovely homeopath who has been dosing me up with Pluto (have a suspicion she said the full name was Plutonium!!- or was that my vivid imaginaton running away with me again?!!). But whatever it is, it has helped. Most of the problems have been around money - or rather the lack of it. I know lots of others are suffering too, but you can only really deal with your own stuff. Am still feeling like I'm treading water, though. I feel that a change is imminent, and that's always a strange time, where I feel alternately stuck, or completely at sea. And that's not mentioning the mood swings!! Oh dear, oh dear, yes I have those too! I'm going through the menopause as well, so that's a huge rite of passage too, so I suppose it's probably quite normal to feel wierd!!LOL!

I'm also wondering if it's not somethng to do with next year being 2012? There is lots of speculation about what is going to happen next year as the Mayan Calender says its the end of time! In fact, some crazy American preacher claimed that Armageddon was going to happen on 21st May this year, but when it didn't, revised his dates to later this year. Don't think I'll be holding my breath! BUT the interesting and entertaining Greg Braden (check him out on YouTube) says that the changes that are due to occur are already happenning. My take on it is that because the changes are gradual (and if you look around you can see there have been lots of changes happenning for several years) that the end of 2012 may signal the culmination or peak of these changes. I don't think there will be a big bang or fireworks, but we will be able to look back and see a subtle but powerful journey we have all travelled together. I'm not saying that the end of 2012 will be the end of the process, but rather a peak or crisis point, a place from which we can settle down and get used to the outcome of the upheaval. One obvious example is what the meda is calling the Arab Spring, where so many Middle Eastern countries followed the Egyptian uprising and overturned decades of tyranny and corruption-all by the power of the people. Sadly, some are still struggling with that as I write. But it's obvious that the 'old' world order is changing, and you may as well accept and get used to it, otherwise you will find it very hard work. Life is easy for the man (or woman) with no preferences! The trick is to tune into where and what the changes are so you can be 'single weighted' (a Tai Chi term for being ready and balanced) and as prepared as possible. Well.....here endeth the first lesson!

OK, just realised I haven't caught up at all on the day to day stuff that has been occurring, so brace yourself for a whistle stop tour of my life over the last two months.....
Did a memorable solo performance in a pub restaurant, solo performance at a Royal Wedding party, Miramar performing at the Shakespeare Birthday Celebrations, Le Petit Souk went well in the new venue, fab shopping for sparkle in the Soho Road, Miramar performing at Southern Down Retirement Home, Performing and teaching at Oxford Belly Dance Bonanza, performing with Shuvani in our new costumes at the Wool Fair in the rain, another solo performance at Shipston Arts Festival....and there's more coming up this summer! And that's not including organising summer classes and taster sessions, a summer hafla, several troupe appearances and an autumn souk. No rest for the wicked, I guess!
Back soon......